Mustard on the Hedge

Just in case you didn’t catch it, here’s an extract from Britney’s appearance on the Ellen show recently:

Today is a sad day for me. I’ve been standing in Britney’s corner so long that I’ve lost the feeling in my left leg but to be honest I can defend her anymore.

As part of her ‘comeback’, Britney is doing the rounds promoting her new album ‘Circus’. She was the ’special guest’ on Saturday nights ‘X Factor’ show and she was dreadful.

I can understand when you’re involved in a rigorous dance routine as part of the overall ’spectacle’ your vocal performance may suffer and so miming may be necessary from time to time. However on X Factor Britney was stutting around the stage looking fabulous (although she’s borrowed Madonna’s outfit and she should definitely return it!) but sounding….well not sounding at all. She mimed and mimed badly.

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I’m sure readers of this blog are expecting me to declare Britney my Golden Thong of the week since she wiped the floor with all the haters at the MTV Video Music Awards. Well I was going to and then said no….I must put my Britney-loving aside for this week. That said…how hot did she look!?!?

Britney pleased with her Awards

Ok captivated by Britneys…sequins….she has to be this weeks Golden Thong. I can’t think of anyone that compares but again I’m blinded by her…sequins!

Silver Mullet of the week goes to Lily Allen:

So why is Lily being slapped with the Mullet? The English singer seems to be going through a bit of a phase at the moment and attracting a lot of negative press. She’s punched a random girl on the street and has all but blamed Katy Perry for Capitol Records stalling on releasing her new album. Apparently Lily is a bit peeved that Katy Perry has replaced her as Capitol Records ‘golden girl’. So good ol’ Lily obviously sat down and thought…”how can I get some good press and get back in the good books? I know…I’ll tell Elton John to f*^k off“!!! WTF? BUT that’s not why she gets the Mullet….this is why-

Are they trying to communicate?

What is with those nipples? I’ve decided that Lily is using her breasts to get attention…a tactic never tried before by a woman. She was critisised in the press recently when her boob popped out in public-people said it was a publicity stunt. Lily clearly has decided that while her album is gathering dust she can dazzle us all with her nipples! Seriously it looks as if she’s got a gerbil down her top!?!

I just realised that this week there is nobody that merits receiving a pat on the virtual back via a Golden Thong award…this could be due to my current slightly grumpy mood! So this week there are two Silver Mullet Awards.

1. Madonna

I wish someone would take her aside and explain to her that this…

…is not sexy! The 50 year old kicked off her “Sticky and Sweet” tour in Cardiff last Saturday. At her age I think she should be reaching for her pension as opposed to spandex. I’m not surprised she’s sticky at her age!!!

2. Paris Hilton

Anyone who knows me knows that I reside firmly in the pro-Britney camp. I even thought she was hot when you could see the veins popping on her bald head! If you remember around that time the pair were thick as thieves, partying in Vegas, shopping and all sorts.

Then Britney did her G.I Jane impression and had a meltdown…where did Paris go??? Did she lose Britney’s number? Now as soon as Britney is getting her tricks together again, Paris is back on Britters side.

She has come out today tipping Britney to win an MTV Video Music Award. Britney has been nominated for two awards- Best Female Artist and Best Pop Video for her track “Piece of Me”. Hilton says: “I love Britney. I think she looks so beautiful right now….She’s the best.” Paris officially would do anything to get her name in the papers. Hopefully Britney will tell Paris to stick her “friendly support” where the sun don’t shine!

I’m accepting nominations for the Golden Thong award….suggestions via comments please!